Welcome to a new series on pregnancy. While I have no thoughts about a second pregnancy myself, I didn’t want this blog to simply move into toddler land as Pip grows up. It is about surviving motherhood and that includes pregnancy and the new baby days. As one of my close friends and one of my sisters are both pregnant, I have asked both of them to share some posts about pregnancy and planning for a baby. Their guest posts will be a mixture of the philosophical and practical.
Please welcome Suzie today – Suzie and I have been firm friends since the very first day of university when we bonded over a shared love of music. She has recently started writing her own blog Pitter Patter and is a journalist, teacher and horse person.
I have a difficult time answering one particular question about my pregnancy – one that I’ve been asked more than I expected to be, to be honest – and that is, ‘Was it planned?’
A (significant) part of me wants to tell these people to sod off as it’s none of their business, but I have to say that most people who have asked that question have been my age and often our friends.
I suppose there are a couple of reasons why they might ask: we are not married – not even engaged. I can’t help feeling that if we were married then people wouldn’t ask us if the baby was planned. The second reason is that we haven’t really talked to anyone about having a baby before. Even our close friends were not aware that it was on the agenda. I don’t know why really…I guess in the event that it had proved difficult or even impossible for us to get pregnant, then I couldn’t bear all of the hopeful questions and concerned sympathy. I wanted to know we could do it before we talked to other people about it!
And I do have trouble answering that question – because although it was planned, in the sense that we had stopped trying not to have a baby, it was no less of a shock. And we definitely weren’t expecting to get pregnant within a couple of months. We certainly weren’t actively trying. Except for the obvious, of course.
Since finding out, one thing we have both been keen to avoid is the whole Facebook ‘reveal’. I don’t know why – I’m not embarrassed about it, and I’m getting good at explaining the situation now – but I think I just really like telling people. I like getting their personal reaction – if not face to face, then at least on the phone or in a direct email. It gives me that tingly wave of excitement every time.
So here we are. I am just over 16 weeks pregnant, well into my second trimester and I am just getting used to there being a little person growing inside me. There isn’t much to see yet and I am aware that I have been let off incredibly lightly with symptoms, having had no sickness or tiredness even in the first trimester. This made for an anxious wait for the twelve week scan, in case I was imagining the whole thing.
However, I love observing the little things that tell me I really am pregnant: the fact that my trousers won’t do up any more; the way my belly feels when I’m lying in bed at night, with a hardish lump just above my pubic bone; my complete and utter obsession with bacon (which might have had more impact on my trousers not doing up than the baby, to be honest); and the fact that everything I do seems tinged with a little more of a glow than usual – enjoying a film on TV is even better because in the back of my mind, I know I’m pregnant – a lovely walk in the countryside is that bit more beautiful because I know I’m pregnant. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but it’s like a background tune in my mind all the time. And I love it.
And having just got used to the idea, I was a little dismayed when a client began lecturing me last week on how I really should start thinking about a birth plan. I’ve just got my head around the idea of it being there – I really don’t want to have to think about getting it out yet!