Pregnancy Diaries: A on… getting used to being pregnant

Welcome to the second in a new series on pregnancy. While I have no thoughts about a second pregnancy myself, I didn’t want this blog to simply move into toddler land as Pip grows up. It is about surviving motherhood and that includes pregnancy and the new baby days. As one of my close friends and one of my sisters are both pregnant, I have asked both of them to share some posts about pregnancy and planning for a baby. Their guest posts will be a mixture of the philosophical and practical.

Please welcome A today – A is one of my two younger sisters (you might recognise her from her wedding if you read APW). She writes her own blog One Half Of Us and has just finished her PhD.

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Towards the end of last year I got pregnant. It seemed so easy. We decided that we wanted to have a baby, and a couple of months later I fell pregnant. We gave it a nickname and started dreaming of the idea of the future person we would add to our family. Yet 11 weeks down the line I had a miscarriage. And suddenly having a baby didn’t seem so simple anymore.

Fast forward 6 months and I cried in a field at a friend’s wedding knowing that that little person wouldn’t be joining us in only a few weeks time and dreading the due date coming up. But although I didn’t know it, I was pregnant again (just!). Three weeks before that due date, we found out we were expecting again. It didn’t replace the previous baby-to-be, but it sure went a long way to making that day easier, knowing that we had hope.

To begin with this time round, we kept that hope, but just took every day as it came. The magic of pregnancy somehow seemed dimmed just a little, knowing how quickly things could change. Some days I felt positive, but others I convinced myself that I had made everything up or it was sure to go wrong. The midwife sent us for an early scan at 10 weeks, and the relief at seeing the fetus moving around was incredible. Yet somehow I still couldn’t quite let being pregnant sink in.

Now, at 21 weeks, the regular kicks and punches I’m receiving make everything seem so real. There’s no denying our baby-to-be is there and has all it’s limbs! The 20 week scan showed no abnormalities, and particularly when I’m lying in the bath you can even see the kicks across my stomach. At last, I think I’m getting used to being pregnant and have started to believe we could bring home a new person with us in a few short months time. And it feels amazing.

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